Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Marital Musings

Mr. Case and I are discussing P90X...

Me: I don't want to do it because I don't want to get buff. I don't mind being firm but I like curves.

Mr. Case: You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lost that butt!

Me: Did you just quote Sir Mix-A-Lot?

Mr. Case: Maybeeeeeee!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

Is anyone else watching this show? I find it intriguing, not to mention I love anything wedding-related.

I have noticed that as a whole, the group is devoutly religious. No pre-marital sex, no socializing with the opposite sex unless supervised, etc. So what I want to know is:

How can they be so "religious" but have no regard whatsoever for modesty? I mean, from the outfits on the guests to the bridal gowns, there is a TON of T&A! My wedding gown was strapless but I'm flat-chested and there was no cleavage to speak of. If I were busty, I would've worn a different style. I'm not anti-sexy but these are very young girls putting their goods on display. There is no way in hell I would've ever made it out the door in one of those outfits (call it the fear of the wrath of my Dad, LOL.)

So, do you think it is possible to respect your body while still leaving very, very little to the imagination?

Just Keepin' It Real

Yesterday I wrote a glowing post about Mr. Case on our family blog. I still mean everything I wrote, but something went horribly wrong last night.

First we got to the gym and the pool was closed so I had to sit around bored till Mr. Case was done with his workout (not his fault, as he offered to leave knowing I was in my swimsuit, and he DID buy me a smoothie to occupy my time.) Then he wanted In n Out for dinner and I wasn't in the mood. They proceeded to screw up my order four freaking times! Needless to say, I was in a foul mood by the time we got home to actually eat at 9 p.m. I can't typically eat that late because of the medicine I take for heartburn so it felt like one thing after another building up, even though individually those are all really pathetic things to be angry about. Talk about First World problems!

Anyway, I tried to take a shower and pray and calm down but it didn't work. My mind started spinning with every marital insecurity I've ever felt. It was like the devil was sitting on my shoulder. Good grief. I ended up doing The Ugly Cry.

I think the most frustrating part of pregnancy is trying to ascertain what is a hormonal issue versus a legitimate issue. Notably, Mr. Case tried to be loving and comforting to me during the gym/dinner fiasco but things were tense during the breakdown following my shower.

It was just a bad night. Just keepin' it real!

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Fair

I really miss the Orange County Fair. I know compared to the Midwest, it's pretty small and rinky-dink but I grew up attending and darn it I will miss it this year! Supposedly Texas has one of the most epic fairs in the entire country but I am skeptical I will be able to attend in my "condition." This is what I am indulging in to pretend:

Image via taquitos.net

Thursday, June 16, 2011


Poor Miss Paris has a ton of hair. The humane thing in this heat is to get her a military-style haircut, which is to say, do our best to make her look masculine. She gets everything shaved! Her groomers in the past would always try to affix a bow despite the lack of hair but this groomer puts a bandanna on. Here she is after her last trip to get beautified:

Do you notice she's wearing a Breast Cancer Awareness bandanna? Do you think the groomer noticed she is "different"? She's seen vets who haven't even realized she's missing all her nipples until I point it out. After her double mastectomy last year, she is wearing this bandanna with pride!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Fairweather Fan

Yesterday Mr. Case mentioned meeting up with some of his (male friends) from church to watch the Mavericks slaughter the Heat. This was an excellent idea to me, as I had no interest in watching the game.

Well, our money tree has yet to bloom so from there I suggested he invite his friends over to our home to watch. From there I learned several of the wives (AKA my dear sweet friends) also wanted to watch the game.  None of my friends have even been interested in sports so this was new for me; I'm much more accustomed to sitting at the table to chat while the game goes on.

You know where this is going, right?

An impromptu party! Our group is famous for the amount of Little Caesar's pizza we buy and last night was no exception. I also baked a butter pecan cake and some brownies. Another friend brought watermelon while still another brought a fruit pizza.

The Mavericks won so I will consider the night a success. Being pregnant got me out of almost all the cleaning and preparations! Next time I fully expect more than 4 hours notice from Mr. Case before hosting an event for 8 people, ha! All in all a great time was had by all.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

On Honesty

About six months ago, I decided to start being honest in my marriage.

OK, I admit that is an absurd statement. To clarify, I was never dishonest in my marriage. However, there are varying degrees of honesty in any relationship.

I made a conscious decision to be up-front about my feelings. No beating around the bush. No withholding how I felt to spare my husband. No leaving passive/aggressive hints like crumbs for a mouse. I decided I was just going to cut to the chase and speak my peace.

Even if it felt like pulling a tooth with no anesthetic.

And sometimes it does. OK, to be fair, many times it does!

For the sake of disclosure, I will say that Mr. Case and I have always been resolutely devoted to working on communication. Or at a minimum, he goes along with whatever I want to try. We had pre-marital counseling, and literally since we were first married we have been active in marriage groups within our church, attended retreats,  read books and guides, etc. I married a good sport. Well, in fairness, I guess calling Mr. Case a "good sport" is demeaning because obviously he is committed, too, or else he wouldn't partake in all this. I guess what I'm trying to say is, we work really hard.

Moving has been difficult. Being each other's sole source of entertainment for quite a while, and having no other outlets, challenged our communication.  I decided we could stand to improve. Part of my epiphany was acknowledging that it is easy to reflect on my spouse's flaws, but that true change would need to start with my own flaws.

The changes within myself have left me feeling liberated. I just take a deep breath and say how I feel. Seems so simple, right? Maybe even a little stoopid. I can't say where my mindset originated (the media? family or origin?) but I have conditioned myself to holding back. Mostly it was out of fear.

And let me assure you, Mr. Case is benefiting from this, too. He doesn't have to play psychic. He is relieved to hear what is upsetting me, and he is even more relieved when I tell him what he needs to do to fix it, rather than him having to speculate and hope something works. It is easy for me to think that after a certain number of years he should "know" what to do but in reality, that's unfair. It's easier for both of us to fix big issues and little ones if we know what the person needs. A lot of emotional exhaustion has been removed from situations, making it much, much easier to move forward.

This new found honesty hasn't prevented any disagreements, as surely anyone in a long-term relationship can understand that things will never be "perfect." But it sure as hell helps to remove an extra level of drama that is entirely unnecessary.

The level of intimacy we can achieve by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is amazing. At one point I found myself saying, 'If we can't be honest with each other, than who can we be honest with? At this point in our lives, we deserve that honesty. A spouse should be a safety zone." Mr. Case concurred.

So yeah, it hurts. But the end result is always better than if we'd continued playing charades. I'm very proud of us.

And to think, it only took slightly more than half a decade to get here....

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Party Foul!

I was woken first thing this morning by a call from the fraud department of my bank. Well, more accurately, their third party firm who handles fraud. I guess someone stole my debit card number (I have the actual card in my possession.) The thief has been on a fine dining adventure across NYC. 
On the one hand, I am so very, very thankful for the bank's diligence in bringing this to my attention and cancelling my card before it could get worse.
On the other hand, I am now in a state of panic. Mr. Case just barely started back to work this week so we haven't seen a check in 5 weeks. We had literally just enough money to pay my COBRA and for my prescription blood thinners. Now, not so much. Thankfully I have enough injections to get me through to Monday when I can call the bank. My prescription is at Sam's Club and I always pay cash because I don't have a MasterCard, which is the only credit card they accept. I'm really praying that recuperating our funds is a quick process.  
I'm quite perplexed as to how they got the card number. I never, EVER use my debit card to make purchases online and I ALWAYS use it as a credit card, not debit card, when I get gas. Those are supposedly the two ways they can steal a number easiest. Otherwise, I've been broke and haven't been anywhere to make purchases, LOL. I guess it is a moot point, anyway, since they have the number and were using it. Let me just reiterate how thankful I am my bank was proactive. My parents want me to switch banks now but I refuse-one time my husband's card was stolen and they were excellent in resolving our issues so I am entirely loyal to them!!