I'm Rich!

No, not really. In fact, not even close if we're talking abot material possessions. However, I decided to get all of my financial affairs in order prior to my c-section on the 26th. Since moving I have not really set up my filing cabinet or organized what we brought with us.

Two bags of trash and countless papers to shred later, I am the proud owner of several gift certificates. Some were left over from our wedding! I don't know how this happened since I love to shop as much as the next woman but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth (such an odd saying!)

We still have a lot of stuff we need to buy so this will really help! God always provides, that's all I can say!

**********************************************************************************

Sorry for the lack of posting as of late. I know I don't have a huge following, and it's highly likely anything I write is interesting only to me or close friends. But that said, I feel like I'd rather write nothing than write something even more mundane just to fill space. I have a lot of things brewing in my head but I absolutely need to stop procrastinating on that other side of my life, AKA Motherhood, and prepare for this pending major life change. Stay tuned.

Simply Put

My anxiety and fears are getting the best of me today...they don't deserve my worst, let alone my best!  Health issues, money issues, blah, blah, blah.

Not where my heart should be.

Do you ever feel this way? Like you're spiraling out of control and you need to re-focus?

I need to disconnect from the world and get my act together.

Tomorrow is a new day-catch ya on the flip side!

Blah

Today is not a good day.

I got in a fight with my brother which somehow morphed into an ugly fight with my husband.

Being away from alllllllll your friends is really, really hard. Seeing our friends this weekend was a painful reminder of that fact.

Depression is rampant 'round these parts but I am trying to keep in perspective what I can control and what I simply can't.

Tomorrow is a new day. All I need to remember is that I have my health, and that someone, somewhere, always has it worse. No time for a ride on the pity pot today!

I can't lie-things are rough right now, though. Any spare warm fuzzies, prayers or the like are greatly appreciated!

The Statue

I have seen this quote twice in one day and therefore think its relevance is a sign:

Not every day is sunny; some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.


The day before we left for our trip to California, Mr. Case lost his job.

On the one hand, I feel very relieved. His job was awful. He was working a minimum of 10-12 hours a day, if not more, and making very little money.

Very little money. 

But, he stayed at the job for some valid reasons:

1. He is nothing if not dedicated to providing for his family. Frankly, I am pregnant and we needed the health insurance.

2. He thought if he demonstrated how industrious he was, then when things improved our financial situation would improve. Unfortunately, his industry dictates that when the economy is bad, so is our bank account situation.

So, needless to say, there has been a lot of mixed emotions. It was truly not a good environment in which to be spending the majority of your day. Without going into too many details, there are reasons we feel a peace about the situation.

And, most importantly, we are confident God will provide for our family as He always, always has. we are trying not to operate in fear, but of course we have our weak moments.

If you have any to spare, please send some prayers our way.

Can't

Today I can't write a decent blog post. My family is in the midst of a gut-wrenching crisis and it is all I can do not to perform the ugly cry several times a day. Consequently, I have a migraine and a cranky attitude. Tomorrow is a new day in which to focus on the positive, yes?

Drama

The writing prompt for March on Nablopomo is "one word." Their prompts are pretty liberal so I will take this to mean I only need one word as inspiration or title. My track record is pretty awful for these monthly things but I'm gonna give it a shot.

I'm really sick of drama. Everyone has their fair share but on occasion I question if I'm not a personal magnet. But things are changing inside of me. I have an entirely new set of responsibilities and they're only going to increase. It is time to look out for Numero Uno.

I can't live in fear any more of the "what ifs" of life. The fact is, there is a lot beyond my control. This is some revelation to have at 29, right? Better late than never, I guess.

It has been a rough 5+ years. I contemplated recapping a brief list of the traumas of the past half-decade but am torn over whether I want a written account or not. On the one hand, my history is my history and it is part of who I am today and why I am the way I am. On the other hand, if I write it out will it be the equivalent of re-living it? Will writing it out somehow hold me back from healing? I'm not sure what the answer is. I do know I have blogged for several years now, and it is very rare that I dig through the archives for something.

God promised a joyful and full life, He never promised a happy life. Happiness is circumstantial, whereas joy is a feeling I wish to know in my heart and live every day. I need to accept that traumatic and bad thins are going to happen. Hurting will occur, not "if" but "when." I am only responsible for my own actions. If someone hurts me, I have to accept it and move on.

Currently, one of my brothers is having a hard time. When he hurts, I hurt. Our connection is strong and I vibe off of him. I need to let go. He needs to be able to make his own good decisions. And not all of his decisions will be good. Nobody's decisions are always perfect. But sometimes you need to learn certain life lessons on your own, even if it feels like it is killing those who love you.

Don't!

Mr. Case always laughs because I have this mantra where I don't believe in saying negative things out loud. I always chide him with, 'Don't put that out into the universe!' As though somehow that might make it true? I'm not sure but I'm not into taking chances.

I learned a valuable lesson today: maybe it isn't so great to put good things out, either, say like bragging about the value of other people's marriages, unless you're prepared for a jinx. I guess I need to follow everything I say with a knock on wood?

I know, I know, that's utterly ridiculous. For tonight, I shall practice my real and true mantra:


Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
Courage to change the things I can, 
And wisdom to know the difference


For now, I am over today. I hope everyone had a good weekend.

You Might Be A Redneck If...

You are pregnant, wearing mis-matched clothing, driving a monster truck while pulling the male members of your house on a snowboard attached with a rope, through an empty field and down the streets of your neighborhood.  

Hey, there isn't much to do when you're snowed in!

Better

A lot of the things bothering me yesterday have been resolved.

I am trying to exercise compassion.

Probably till the day I die I will be working on my patience.

But things are better, and that's all that matters.