The One About Propofol

Did you think I'd fallen off the face of the Earth? I sort've have-after having my baby, I then needed to have my gallbladder removed. I don't recommend two abdominal surgeries in as many months, if you can avoid it!

Anyway, have you been following the Conrad Murray trial? To be honest, after the whole child molestation accusations, Michael Jackson skeeved me out and I didn't follow him much except to notice he too fell of the radar. I have been somewhat interested in Conrad Murray's trial, though, because it reminded me vaguely of the situation with Jack Kevorkian. I am simply fascinated with the line between providing medical care, and providing a service for pay. I know the comparison is a stretch but try to stay with me on this one.

One of the experts at Murray's trial made a statement to the effect that Murray wasn't doing his due diligence as a medical professional, but rather was taking instructions against his better judgement, in the name of celebrity and profit. Now, obviously Kevorkian had a passion for helping people who were suffering (whether you agree with what he did or not, you must admit he did seem to care for his patients) but the fact is that he was doing something illegal, and something (intentionally) dangerous. I don't know if Conrad Murray cared about Michael Jackson but he was doing something dangerous and he knew it. He wasn't following medical protocol.

I think Murray giving Jackson Propofol was immoral and deplorable, but I also know people who work for celebrities can become enamored with their status and the wealth that might come from working for them. Clearly Murray violated all kinds of ethics in administering anesthesia as a sleep aid! But I truly believe it was just bad luck of the draw. It could've been any other number of physicians lacking a moral compass who enabled him in his drug addiction. I believe in my heart of hearts that if it wasn't Murray, it would've been someone else. There has been no evidence that any medical professional in his life stepped up to the plate to forcefully care for him as a patient and try to help him work through his issues. Now, I firmly believe an addict will only stop when they want to, and something tells me Jackson's narcissism and addiction prevented him from seeing himself in a true light. But! At the very least they could've tried to treat him the way all people seeking medical treatment deserve to be treated-with dignity and respect for their life. Addiction is a cruel, cruel beast.

I know this post is all over the place. Sorry for that. It was much more concise when I was composing it in my head at 3 a.m. What got me off on this misguided tangent was my gallbladder surgery. Another expert at the Murray trial said his patients ask him daily if the drug he is administering is the one that killed Jackson.

I feel bad for the manufacturer of Propofol; it is a good, effective drug. It has gotten a bad rap it doesn't deserve. Lots of medications are good medications but once you abuse something, you can't turn back and blame the drug. My anesthesiologist didn't specifically say he was using Propofol on me but I read the label when he was showing me the drug. I didn't so much as flinch. I knew it was being used in the appropriate way and I was thankful to have access to it. Anesthesia, to me, is a life saver of sorts. My operation, though routine and technically not life-threatening, couldn't be done without it. Well, I guess it could but I'd likely have gone into shock and died from that alone. (Side note, did you know when they remove your gallbladder they re-wire your intestines to your liver? Yeah, it's kind of a big deal.) And let me tell you, when I awoke from being put under, I felt like I'd been to hell and back. It was very difficult for me to regain all my faculties. I'm totally shocked someone could try to rehearse for a major stage show after being put under. I had to have my husband help me get dressed! Ugh!

All this to say, I will be intently watching to see the verdict on this one, as I truly believe a precedence may take place.

Well, That Was Rare!

Do you remember the actress Kim Field from The Facts of Life and Living Single? She was on today's rerun of The Wendy Williams Show. Unlike many (most?) child actors, she took her money and ran off with it to college. Pepperdine, to be exact. She now has a successful career working with money-machine Tyler Perry as a producer or something (I didn't pay close attention here, as I am not exactly Tyler Perry's demographic.)

Anyway, Wendy was talking to her about the fact that she developed physically at a very early age, and that many young women struggle with body image, etc. Wendy then went on to ask her if she had any advice for young women who struggle with such perceptions.

I almost fell out of my chair when I heard her response. No kidding, I was genuinely shocked. Kim looked directly into the camera and said, "Girls, you were created by God himself in His image. God doesn't make mistakes. Go forth with confidence knowing you look exactly how you are supposed to. Have confidence." I may have butchered some of the last part of her quote but you get the gist.

To clarify, I wasn't shocked at the content of what she was saying, as I happen to agree with her.

Rather, I was shocked that a person worthy of being on national television would speak so candidly regarding God on national television.  You don't see or hear that very often. I am impressed with her courage to risk alienation. We should all stand up for what we believe in, and Kim's words to young women were very inspiring. Kim is not exactly an A-list celeb, but in my mind she is an A-list person.

Sick, Sick, Sick

I admit that this is a sore subject for me given the fact that several people I love (and have loved in the past) are addicts, but I am truly bothered tonight. As it is well know, Lindsay Lohan is an addict (as are Charlie Sheen and many other celebrities.) 


One of the gossip rags posted a story which detailed a probation report written about Lindsay. Now, I am not a fan of hers, have never seen one of her movies, etc. Frankly, I wish someone in her life would step up to the plate and sequester her, but that is neither here nor there. 


It is completely shameful and disgusting that anyone would publish a report that detailed, specifically, which medications Lindsay is one. Everything from what she uses to fall asleep, to her preferred birth control, to some antibiotics, were listed. 


Now I accept culpability for reading these sites and therefore encouraging them to print such garbage, but I honestly prefer the happy news of babies, engagements, etc. 


Listing someone's personal medical information is not acceptable. People laugh and say that because they're celebrities, they open themselves to the attention. To an extent that is true. But what does it say about us as a society that we discuss the personal troubles of people like Charlie Sheen ad nauseum? 


Sheen is another one with very, very, severe problems. He is an addict in the throws of a personal crisis. There is nothing funny about his antics. He has five children, none of whom will be "OK" should he meet an untimely demise, and none of whom will survive his addictions unscathed. 


Where is the line drawn on acceptable news and gossip items? Recovery is hard, and that is putting it mildly. Though I prefer him sober, from not only loving addicts, but working with them for five years, I can promise that I understood 100% when he said, "I was sober for five years a long time ago and was bored out of my tree." 


To maintain dignity as a culture we need to step back and allow these people to either heal, or self-destruct, in private. Yes, they do bring on much of it themselves, but that is not a license to feed their demons. 

Why I Wouldn't Trade Places with Kate Middleton

I know a big deal is being made of "the royal wedding." Frankly, I'm just not into it.

Moreover, I sort've feel bad for Kate Middleton. On the outside it appears as though she is having a glamorous fete but I suspect the reality is that very few of the decisions on her special day, were actually made by her. According to the incessant media blitz, Kate was at one time quite the party girl. A stuffy wedding where you have no real control over everything from the guest list to the food. Not to mention, answering to the Queen!

Yikes. I'll stick to my commoner wedding where I chose most everything (except for the hors d'oeuvres, but that's another story....)

So, did you love the wedding? Are you glad it's finally over? Was it your style?